Have you ever tried to take up a new sport?  Master a new skill?  Do you remember how frustrated you got?   I’ll use learning to cast a fly rod, just as an example.  I took lessons when I started, and at first, I just focused on trying to keep the line in the air…rod moves from ten to two position (think of a clock) and timing is critical to keeping more and more line feeding out and in the air (hopefully without hitting yourself in the back of the head with a fly!).  All that seemed hard enough, but then I had to actually aim at something in the water and be able to hit it, without slapping the water and scaring the fish!  Seemed impossible in the beginning.

Being a neophyte in writing feels a bit like that; how do I remember all the things I need to at the same time?  Everything feels awkward, and just…. not comfortable.  I’ll learn a new skill – say plotting.  I end up focusing on that so much that my characters become flat and uninteresting!  What’s really frustrating is that, at first, I don’t realize what’s happened – just that I suddenly have lost interest in the story, and can’t make myself sit down and write.  I spent a month flogging myself, accusing myself of being lazy and questioning my ability to become a professional writer.  A month wasted.

 Well, maybe not wasted totally, because I now understand what was wrong, and maybe next time I’ll recognize it more quickly.  This road to being a good writer is a long and convoluted one, much more so than I realized when I began.

 It’s like giving birth – if you truly knew what you were getting yourself into, would you do it?  I think it depends on when you’re asked…when they put the baby in your arms for the first time?  Of course!  In the middle of labor?   Maybe not so much….

Some of my best ideas come to me while I’m riding my bicycle.  I had an epiphany during a gorgeous Southern California ride yesterday.  One of those moments when several pieces fall into place for a major “Aha” moment – I love it when that happens!

For anyone who is not familiar with Maslowe, here’s the Reader’s Digest version:

In the 1930’s Abraham Maslowe put forward his “Hierarchy of Needs” concept to explain behavior.  His theory was that you strive to move toward the top of the list that follows:

                        Self-actualization

                        Esteem needs

                        Belonging needs

                        Safety needs

                        Physiological needs

This is summed up in one of my favorite songs, “Constant Craving” by K.D.Lang., but I digress.  You can’t move up the ladder until the lower need is met, as anyone who’s been on the lowest rung can attest to (been there myself at one dark period of my life.)

My husband and I were talking the other day on a completely different subject.  We were watching one of those obnoxious “Weight Loss Breakthrough” ads on TV, and he didn’t understand why people were so lazy; why they couldn’t lose weight and keep it off (he has more drive than most – he lost 50 lbs 5 years ago.)

Last piece to the puzzle; I’m a Weight Watchers member, and the talk this week was about creating goals to achieve weight loss.  Okay, stay with me here, because my theory works for anything you want to achieve, not just weight loss.

We’ve all heard the goal-setting advice; break a large goal into steps, and achieve those, and you’ll finally get to your ultimate goal/need.  Great.  On paper.  But if you’re like me, when you choose a large goal like losing 40 lbs, learning to knit, writing a book, whatever…you have pictured in your head what the ultimate goal will do for you.  You’re standing on stage, holding up the Oscar to the applause and adulation of the crowd.

Okay, I set smaller goals, but ultimately my eyes are on the applause, and my acceptance speech, and the smaller goals aren’t enough to get me excited.  Yeah, I’m making progress, but smaller goals also point out the amount of road I have left to get to my ultimate desire. 

I think this is why we fail.  After awhile, you just burn out.  The effort just doesn’t seem worth it, and we move on to the next thing we want.  But there are two problems with that.  First, the goal you’ve abandoned is the one you want most, or it wouldn’t have been your first effort, right?  Secondly, in spite of excuses you make to others, deep down, you know you’ve failed, and it hurts.  You feel guilty, which lowers your self-esteem and makes the next goal harder to achieve, because you don’t really trust yourself to do it.  After all, you let yourself down before, right?

One of my goals is to get stronger on the bike.  We’re going on a bicycle vacation in Utah this summer, and it involves mountains.  Okay, so I’m riding, trying to figure out how to get consistent with my training – I get lazy when I get home from work, and find other things to do that don’t involve sweat and pain. 

Suddenly, I’m distracted by a mockingbird’s song.  I notice that the temperature is perfect.  I look up, and the rolling hills have changed since the last time I rode this route; tawny grass stretches away forever.  I’m so absorbed by the joy of being alive and being out in nature that I don’t even realize I’ve toiled up a major hill – it didn’t hurt at all!

That’s the Hershey Kiss part.  Is it the high I’ll get on the podium?  No, not even close.  It’s just a moment’s sweetness on the tongue.  Okay, I’m mixing metaphors, but you get the gist – it’s about focus.  You need to really take the time to revel in the small goals.  Wallow in them.  They are the rest spots on the stairs to the podium.  If you don’t, you’re going to burn out and quit.

Besides, just ask an older actor with an Oscar on their mantel; they’ll tell you the evening was great, but what mattered to them was the journey.  Like Lennon said, “Life is what happens while we make other plans”.

The Hershey Kisses are the joy of life!  Savor them; I wish you many.

I read on Publisher’s Lunch yesterday that Harris International did a poll of American adults and asked, “What is your favorite book of all time?”  The answers:

1.      The Bible

2.       Gone with the Wind, by Margaret Mitchell

3.       Lord of the Rings (series), by J.R.R. Tolkien

4.      Harry Potter (series), by J.K. Rowling

5.      The Stand, by Stephen King

6.      The DaVinci Code, by Dan Brown

7.      To Kill a Mockingbird, by Harper Lee

8.      Angels and Demons, by Dan Brown

9.      Atlas Shrugged, by Ayn Rand

10.  Catcher in the Rye, by J.D. Salinger

Wow, I was shocked – first, because 4 of my top 4 favorites were there (2,5,7& 9).  Second, because there wasn’t one “literary work” listed (not counting the bible – I don’t know how to categorize that).

In my humble opinion, his tells us several things about the American reader:  First, obviously reading is not dead.  The fact that none of these were comics tells us people are still reading, and not at a low level either.  They didn’t publish the demographics, so I don’t know whom they asked, but Harris is an esteemed poll, so I’m going to assume it was a true cross-section of the population.

Next, in spite of critics, ivory-tower professors and snobs, “literary works” aren’t as well loved as a good, a old-fashioned yarn.  After all, I don’t see Faulkner or Hemmingway on that list – not even Jane Austen!   What I see all the above have in common is that they’re great stories, told in a colorful and straightforward manner.  I’ve always had the secret belief that “literary fiction” (apologies to my friend Ann who swears the term doesn’t exist) is what people buy as a “coffee table book” to leave around the house to impress their friends with what they’re reading (but don’t). 

Now don’t misunderstand me, I really enjoy Steinbeck, Twain, Dickens and others.  I’m just saying that they don’t make my top ten list, and obviously not others’ either.  What’s wrong with popular fiction?  What’s wrong with admitting you read Harlequin?  I’ll admit to cringing at taking a “bodice ripper” to the beach to read.  Hey, given the stats on how many books the average American reads per year, shouldn’t we be happy they are reading anything? 

Read what you like – proudly.

I attended a one-day conference last weekend - Literary Orange.  If you live in the Southern California area, I highly recommend it.  I attend anything locally I can find, mostly for the inspiration I find there.  Writing is such a solitary endeavor that I enjoy the opportunity to hang out with people who “get,” writing.

The keynote speaker was Elizabeth George.  She gave insights into her creative process that were fascinating.  She said something that stuck with me. 

“I don’t know what I think until I write it down.”

I had never thought of it that way, but I realize this is true for me as well.  Some days after I read what I’ve written – an emotion or opinion of a character – I realize that I didn’t know that I knew what they knew!  It somehow solidifies a random thought, and feels like a puzzle piece falling into place, and I see things differently.  Love it when that happens! 

Writing (as in life) is all about focus.   I think what you chose to write about gives insight into what you’re focusing on.   This reminds me of a very wise thing I heard from a Native American over the summer.  My husband and I were on a bicycle vacation through New Mexico, and visited the Acoma “Sky City” pueblo.  The following quote was from our guide.

“Our culture is an oral one, and we ask that while you are here that you don’t write, tape or otherwise record anything while you are on the mesa.  We ask this not because we do not want you to have it – we believe that through listening only, you will take with you that which speaks to you.”

I believe that we all take along that which speaks to us – and what we chose tells us something about ourselves, doesn’t it?

A friend referred me to a great blog – http://thefirstbook.wordpress.com/

The blogger interviews first time authors.  What a great idea!   Helpful for the author as a free plug for their work, helpful for aspiring authors (if only as a reminder that there are sucess stories) and those looking for a new read. 

I thought I’d try to do the same to promote women’s fiction authors.  I’m going to see what I can find, and some first time authors to interview for this blog.  Check back – coming soon!

Laura

The novel I’m reading now is a good example of the difference between Romance and Women’s Fiction (and a darned good read besides!)  It’s Jo-Ann Mapson’s The Owl & Moon Cafe.

As in a romance novel, I knew in the first ten pages who the primary heroine’s man would end up to be, and the secondary character’s by page 70.  So why keep reading?  The world she weaves is complex and vivid, the characters real to life.  I want to know what happens…

Will the awkward teenager ever fit in?  Will the grandmother overcome Leukemia?  Will she fall again for the love of her youth (who just happens to be the father of her daughter).  To read this, it sounds like a soap opera – but thanks to the author’s rich writing style it feels more like…life.

I know it will all work out in the end – even if the grandmother dies.  This is why I am a constant reader of this genre; it’s real and mature enough to hold my interest, but it feels “safe” enough to immerse myself in.  What do I mean by “safe”? 

I don’t usually to go to the movies.  It’s two hours where I’m sucked into a story, and it doesn’t always end well.  “Steel Magnolias” just tore me up.  I guess I allow myself to get too involved, and can be really effected by the outcome.  With women’s fiction, the stories are true to life, but are concluded in such a way that even if there’s a sad ending, the writer lets you down easy.